He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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