She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
