That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This is classic penis vs brain.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
