So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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