She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
