3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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