so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
