His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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