People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
