Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
