I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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