You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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