also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
