Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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