Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
