But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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