they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
