I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
