careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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