You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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