....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
