i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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