i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize