I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Randomize
