I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
