i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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