he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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