Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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