I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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