its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
