I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
