Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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