and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
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Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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