Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
