my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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