marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
