I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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