pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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