There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
