So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
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This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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