he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
