Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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