I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
