seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
