How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
