It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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