Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
