One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
they're like a gay fantastic four
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
