i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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