worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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