You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
