Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
