dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
