hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
