i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
