I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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